Day 1

I’m in Lafayette, Louisiana to sell remote control helicopters for the next week. I’m holed up in a Travelodge tonight, resting my sore feet after my first 11-9 day on my feet in the mall. It went pretty well. I got that “I’ve been in the mall too long, I gotta get outta here” feeling by 2:00 p.m. that I haven’t had since my mom would drag me around Old Orchard in the 90s. I still had 7 hours left. The thing that kept me going was the feeling I got from the people of Lafayette. The unbridled enthusiasm that you just don't get most other places. No one is concerned about being above anything. If they think something's cool, they let you know.

It was a fairly memorable day. I’ll try to break it down by numbers and hopefully a way I can keep consistent from day to day to make it interesting to compare from day to day. Happy holidays.

Don't make me pull the toys out, huh.
Don't make me pull the toyyyys.
And fire up the engines huh.
And then they make noooise." -Kanye West

Sales:

• Cloud Force: 30 ($2 commission per)
• Silver Bullets: 49 ($1 commission per)
• Text from boss after telling him my sales numbers: “WTg* today. Kill it tomorrow. Think big. Think 400**.”
• Text I sent back to him an hour and a half later that was meant for my girlfriend: “Still at the party, babe?”

Dumb Questions

• # of people who asked if the helicopter had a video camera: 5
• # of people who asked if we sold computers: 1
• # of people who asked if we sold coffee: 1

Random

• # of kids with a Justin Bieber haircut: 2 -At the FYE in the mall, there were two Bieber life-size stand-ups that said “Take me home” on them. There is nothing creepy about that at all.
• # of t-shirts dedicated to someone who died: 4 -This phenom seems to be far more prevalent in Louisiana than anywhere else I’ve been. When someone dies young, their friends and family make gaudy t-shirts commemorating them. I kinda like it.
• # of gifts I got: 1 -A woman gave me a coupon for 4 free meals at McDonalds in a family pack. It appears that I have to use it all at once. I’m curious how that will pan out.
• # of times I remember hearing “Winter Wonderland” on the Christmas mix in the store: 4
• # of minutes I spent wondering what “you can do the job while you’re in town” really means: 25 Honestly, what kind of husband privileges does that allow Parson Brown as he subs for a non-existent husband?
• # of free samples of Asian chicken I had: 3

Clothes

I only brought three nice shirts, two nice pairs of pants and a tie. It's all that was clean on quick notice. It should make this interesting.

• Blue striped shirt
• Khaki pants
• Silver tie

*Yes, he capitalized two thirds of WTG.

**We get a bonus that includes a trip to Vegas if we sell 400. 79 felt like a lot. We only had 50 of the big helicopters in the store. I don’t know how 400 is possible.